aftermath

I'm lazy to think,
lazy to move,
whenever i feel something...i just let it die off
last time letting a feeling die off is very easy
it seems to get easier and easier....
well, that's what you get with years of practice

i think i never truly sincere....even though i try my best
but it seems like, i'm just forcing something in
now....even this shell don't want to take in any more crap....

when people are used to a momentum, they seldom want to change
sober seems very frightening for now,
but i know...I'm killing me softly, especially when I'm doing nothing
if people eventually die, even wonder what you will leave behind?
this is my life...i have to keep reminding myself
I'm not watching a movie, this is my life, what you wanna do with it?

this is the aftermath of watching an emotional triggering movie,
and this is me forcing myself to speak our my feeling so i can get a good night sleep
but unfortunately, i never master words...
as crappy as it is, this is what i can do..
i hope i can pick up the phone and call someone,
but i know...no one wanna hear a sad ordinary story

there is no big plot, just raw feelings...we have our moments..
feel free to call me though if you have any problems^^

shy away

maybe in the beginning,
we have to hide some of our thoughts and actions
because it will provoke others
and in order to be accepted, we either fake it or hide our true feelings.

I envy people who can speak up their mind, and stand very firm for their thoughts and feelings...
I never learnt to be that way...so i am not...
but why not?

i find it hard to speak of love and hate...
will i want to spend my life in the way that, till the end of the day...no one actually remember me for who i am, but just what i compromise to be?
that is pathetic! not to mention very depressing...

I'm trying to break that invisible wall. I am who i am, and I will only be what i want to be :)
for those people for speak their mind, i salute you!
for those people who shy away, i hope you will join me:)

come come!

oh yes i like it!

this is the place i want to be at now....
the place i always want to be at
the place i want to be at forever........ok, forever is a bit too dreamy

there's no rule or formula in liking something
you just like it
it makes your heart beats
it makes your eyes sparkles
it makes your lost control of your facial muscles
look! there's a smile on your face^^

i do hope that i can admit liking someone like admitting i like this place
i find it getting more and more harder to do so...
life should be simply...
if i like you...i should tell you...
but i don't

ironically, when my lips are sealed, my ear can hear my heart beat even more clearer, this is just how it is

messy fate

i sat, and look around
i found myself sitting too comfortably, till it starts to scare me

I'm not a person who question a lot,
things are just what they are,
or at least it is that way for me since a very very long time ago

but now i do start to question,
and maybe is a good thing
maybe i can start to plan things,
and finally have control in my own life:)
and really get what i want^^

s.a.d. => smile and dance

i start to question my existence, and the purpose of it...
whether am i doing good or bad to my surroundings....
cos i think...i'm quite insignificant...that sucks!

i'm a bit confuse...and rather depressed...
can't believe after a year...this is what i will post@_@'

well...from now on....i will post what i draw in the computer
i think....it makes me happier


fine....no matter what, remember to smile:)