Saturday, July 21, 2012


gosh, revisiting this blog, makes me feel like time really flies extremely fast :P always when i feel like posting sometimes, my mind goes "ai~~~ maybe next time" and it almost has been a year @_@ i remember i wrote a post about rain before somehow i felt like every time when i need to clear my head, there will always be a sudden rain to let me walk under it :P this morning, i woke up and couldn't really get back to sleep, and thought why not go to the park near my house for a run :P It start off with some drizzling drop, extremely fine and gentle with a slow rhythm, it gets heavier and heavier once again, after a long time, i walk slowly under the rain like some lunatic. but this is one of my personal pleasure, i was glad that I never met another idiot walking under the rain before, it would be so weird, i'm glad that till now, that world under the rain belongs to me :P anyway, what are the odds :D I don't really associate rain with gloomy or depressing, rain always reminds me of some good memories. Like a bunch of kids hiding under the play house on the park Like playing under the rain with kakak Like fellow basketballers still insist on continuing the game under the rain I believe rain does have cleansing power although my cloths are heavy because it is soaking wet but i felt lighter, so much lighter.

Friday, October 28, 2011


I'm lazy to think,
lazy to move,
whenever i feel something...i just let it die off
last time letting a feeling die off is very easy
it seems to get easier and easier....
well, that's what you get with years of practice

i think i never truly sincere....even though i try my best
but it seems like, i'm just forcing something in
now....even this shell don't want to take in any more crap....

when people are used to a momentum, they seldom want to change
sober seems very frightening for now,
but i know...I'm killing me softly, especially when I'm doing nothing
if people eventually die, even wonder what you will leave behind?
this is my life...i have to keep reminding myself
I'm not watching a movie, this is my life, what you wanna do with it?

this is the aftermath of watching an emotional triggering movie,
and this is me forcing myself to speak our my feeling so i can get a good night sleep
but unfortunately, i never master words...
as crappy as it is, this is what i can do..
i hope i can pick up the phone and call someone,
but i one wanna hear a sad ordinary story

there is no big plot, just raw feelings...we have our moments..
feel free to call me though if you have any problems^^

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

shy away

maybe in the beginning,
we have to hide some of our thoughts and actions
because it will provoke others
and in order to be accepted, we either fake it or hide our true feelings.

I envy people who can speak up their mind, and stand very firm for their thoughts and feelings...
I never learnt to be that i am not...
but why not?

i find it hard to speak of love and hate...
will i want to spend my life in the way that, till the end of the one actually remember me for who i am, but just what i compromise to be?
that is pathetic! not to mention very depressing...

I'm trying to break that invisible wall. I am who i am, and I will only be what i want to be :)
for those people for speak their mind, i salute you!
for those people who shy away, i hope you will join me:)

come come!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

oh yes i like it!

this is the place i want to be at now....
the place i always want to be at
the place i want to be at forever........ok, forever is a bit too dreamy

there's no rule or formula in liking something
you just like it
it makes your heart beats
it makes your eyes sparkles
it makes your lost control of your facial muscles
look! there's a smile on your face^^

i do hope that i can admit liking someone like admitting i like this place
i find it getting more and more harder to do so...
life should be simply...
if i like you...i should tell you...
but i don't

ironically, when my lips are sealed, my ear can hear my heart beat even more clearer, this is just how it is

Monday, October 3, 2011

messy fate

i sat, and look around
i found myself sitting too comfortably, till it starts to scare me

I'm not a person who question a lot,
things are just what they are,
or at least it is that way for me since a very very long time ago

but now i do start to question,
and maybe is a good thing
maybe i can start to plan things,
and finally have control in my own life:)
and really get what i want^^

Saturday, October 1, 2011

s.a.d. => smile and dance

i start to question my existence, and the purpose of it...
whether am i doing good or bad to my surroundings....
cos i think...i'm quite insignificant...that sucks!

i'm a bit confuse...and rather depressed...
can't believe after a year...this is what i will post@_@'

well...from now on....i will post what i draw in the computer
i makes me happier matter what, remember to smile:)

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

love hate on9

aiks, is been almost 2 months adi that i didn't update this blog, not tat i don't like to blog, and i kinda think that my life is quite interesting:P but the internet connection is really driving me crazy!
Reminder!!! if you stay high up in a building, no P1Ymax! it suxs!!! the line kept on jumping, one moment you are in , one moment you are out@$#%@*$%(!#

Kinda scary but yet cool that how internet so heavily affect our lives right now, and kinda think about it internet is only commonly use like few year back, give it around ten years!

but now, an internet break down is enough for us to go KUkU~~!

internet forks will definitely agree on this! one day without internet = no facebook, no msning, no email checking, no youtube, no google, no wiki! OMG! we got so many hours in a day that we don't know what to do with it!!!!

Seriously...i'm not exaggerating at all, didn't i speak mind of others?
i'm more to an outdoor person, the fact is i got problem staying at home more than one day without turning insane:P
last time i say that i don't wanna turn in to the trend of daily internet usage, but i found out that i really miss out a lot of stuff if i don't do so...
firstly, everybody update their information online, the fastest you can see is the change of relationship! the moment two person get together, poop! fb status changed!
i became so so so outdated because i didn't online for quite some time, what so ever happen to them or even if they brought a new car, strangers that goes online knows better than me~_~" oh god...

secondly, my friends will talk about what's interesting online, like in youtube and stuff that i am completely clueless~~~i spend most of the time trying to understand their topic in our yamca session

thirdly, don't know is been how matter times adi, i almost miss due dates or being scolded by my lecturer because i didn't check my email.(last time normally i check my mail once a week! mamma mia..never gonna do that anymore!)

ya! last time maybe i can proudly announce that i can survive without internet! now...maybe still can, but i won;t choose too~.~"
for my friends, for not being so outdated, now even for academic and business purposes.
I have started dating with my toby adi(my laptop), and now the internet connection is driving me insane!!! shit!! where's the helpline!!